Observatory Mansions

by Nicole Dollanganger

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about

all recorded in my bedroom/bathroom

credits

released January 10, 2014

written & composed by nicole dollanganger

album title taken from edward carey's wonderful novel.

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Nicole Dollanganger Whitchurch Stouffville, Ontario

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Track Name: Observatory Mansions
time scurries away from us like field mice
out through the holes in our walls
lost to the dark night

heal me up again

everything i love gathers dust inside my chest
and all the love lost was the love that i kept
in coffins and boxes, a museum of the dead
it’s time i let go, let the darkness claim them

heal me up again
heal me up again

carved out of chalk
out of wax, out of wood
saints, dolls and angels
in pews they all stood
they said it’s time
to give all that i’ve found
it’s time to give it back
to the ground

and one day they will knock
the buildings down
like vomit our ghosts
will all spill out
Track Name: Rampage
i hear him screaming like late night white trash TV stations
black combat boots pacing in through the school building

he’s gonna fight the good fight, the noble war

yeah my baby has a baby but it’s not me
it’s an AK47 semi-automatic gun and
he loves her more than he loves me

gunslinger, black duster, delusions of a western
he wears his hat on backwards, sets fire to his locker

i’ll bet you’ve never seen the smile of savage-springfield 67H
with his blurry face and cracked voice gone through VHS tapes
Track Name: Creek Blues
pills eat through you like acid burning holes
through your head, your mind, your bones and enamel
handcuffed to the bed like you’re an animal
i don’t even recognize you anymore

try to put you down like an old dog to sleep
cut your branches off but you’re a dying tree
the doctors came and pulled the sheet up over your head
you’re already dead you just don’t know it yet

you are sick and i hate you and love you for it
you’re a wreck but i’m always going to want you

i hate to see the knife always under your arm
alone at night, cutting up neighborhood dogs
you snuck me to your daddy’s bedroom, showed me all his guns
you said, “careful or you’ll blow your head off
make sure the safety’s on”

leaving things to die in the mud at the creek
pumping shotgun slugs out into the trees
you run your fingers on the wood and feel its bullet holes
it gives you something i could never give you or ever really know

you are sick and i hate you and love you for it
you’re a wreck but i’m always going to want you
i don’t want to know what you’ve done
or what you think about doing
i don’t want to know so don’t tell me
Track Name: Sleepy Towns and Cemeteries
he casts the kind of glow only a city knows
light creeping into the coffin
of these sleepy suburban homes
he’s so alive in the places everyone here has a hole
bury myself in the front lawn
hope he’ll come dig up my bones

streets here are cemeteries
they feel alive when they’re dead
he wakes up all of the skeletons
every time i look at him
he reminds me beautiful things
can come from something ugly
flowers grow amongst the weeds
good things have come from nothing

he casts the kind of glow only a city knows
he’s so alive in the places everyone here has a hole
Track Name: Choking Games
restlessness leads to a
dangerous kind of fun
start small with swiss army knives
and water guns

criss cross apple sauce
spiders running up your back
put your arms around my neck
i’ll only go to sleep for a second

skin a cat to keep its soul
9 lives to last us a few nights more
sell your sister’s body to the man next door
mix a batch and hit it
puke all over the floor
Track Name: Angels of Porn
my bedroom smells like rotten food
and i guess so do i
it’s harder to be good in here
than it is to starve and die

i’d give my body to satan
if i could only keep my soul
but i can’t seem to find the split
between them anymore

my hair is falling out again
and i don’t really care
i try to stir my conscience
it was never really there

your fingers up inside of me
feel like fingers down my throat
everything is fine in heaven
but i’ll never get to know

make sacrifice in bathtubs
and stained bed covers
soak all of my clothes in holy water
and drown them like a crying son
drown them like a crying daughter
praying in the night to the angels of porn
nails in their wrists, knees on the floor
great lakes full of cum extracted from everyone
Track Name: Nara Dreamland
we broke into dreamland
just so we could have one more day there
but i could not stand to see it in such sad disrepair
he wanted to hold me in the roller coaster carts
sunken into the ground
all i could think about
was how much i wanted to
burn it all down

he tried to tell me things get abandoned
it’s okay for them to rot
i told him that we should find some gasoline
he said we’d better not

we broke into dreamland
to find the parts of us that we left behind
but i could not stand the smell of death
when everything was still alive
if only i could pull out the clown’s teeth
take them home to keep with me
euthanize the carousel ponies
put the park out of its misery
Track Name: Please Just Stay Dead
all the pets i’ve buried
just wanted me to know
sometimes it’s ok
to let a good thing go

wrap you in yarn and grass
embalm you with milk
lay you to rest
in cardboard lined with silk

wild fires have been eating you
inside of my head
trying to smoke you out
or burn you alive in it
this time please just stay dead

this living room memorial
doesn’t bear a name
i guess i can’t blame you
but i hate you all the same

i wear your homemade tattoos
all over my skin
you put your cigarettes out on me
they’re still sinking in
Track Name: Don't Be Scared
when i get a little scared
of losing my teeth and losing my hair
you say, "don't be scared, my friend
death is a beginning, not an end"